Am I guilty?

Today dah overdue by 2 days dah. It means my baby dah lebih 9 bulan 10 hari by 2 hari dalam perut mommy nya. 

I have not start taking leave yet but dah memonteng 2 hari dah ni. Semalam got an MC and hari ni memang terasa sangat-sangat lah malas nak pergi kerja because i know what they'll say and to be honest, quite stress jugak bila jumpa semua staff and they'll say 'aik, tak meletopz lagi kau?' 'eh, still here?' 'tot dah bersalin dah'...Arghhh..tekanan tau. I know maybe some of them is just concern (being positive ka?) maybe some of them is just saying (yang kau touching sangat tu kenapa).

Hmm...the baby is move less and less. Though I got that normal count which is at least 10 kicks per day, but the kicks are going less and less. Im worried hell!! I always ask my baby to come out quick. Am i guilty for that? Not that I dont like him being in there, it's just I'm worried sick if anything happens to him inside of me. I'll be blaming myself forever kalau macam tu. 

I've decided to have me induce in these couple of days. If tak boleh tunggu lagi, then I guess the baby will come out earlier. Remember baby, not that i dont like you in me or feeling such a burden to have u in me..i just want you out and healthy without me worrying what will happen to you inside.

I hope everything will be ok.